Is getting your little one dressed in the morning becoming a battle?

It can be one of the most frustrating points in the day. Mornings can be a rush at the best of times, but for some seemingly incomprehensible reason your now school aged child has decided they don’t want to get dressed. And so begins one of the greatest stand offs known to man! There is breakfast to eat, bags to pack and coats to find… and a small person lying on the floor of their room, in their pants refusing to put their uniform on. This is especially frustrating when you know full well they are quite capable of dressing themselves. Here are a few tips of things to try to work around this particular obstacle.

Dress first

It can be helpful to make getting dressed the first thing that happens when a child gets out of bed (perhaps after a quick toilet stop!) Once a child is downstairs or has had their breakfast, it can be more difficult to get them back upstairs and persuade them to get dressed. Making getting dressed the first part of the routine helps to make this more automatic. Try to keep this up at weekends and school holidays too, this helps with making dressing a consistent part of the routine.

Turn it into a game

Wherever possible we want to make things with our kids fun, avoiding a dueling match and keeping some of our sanity. Yes, boundaries are important. But sometimes being playful can engage your children in doing what they need to. It doesn’t always work, but trying fun things first is a good way to go . Have you ever raced your child to get dressed? I do realise that the chances are you can get dressed quicker than them, but resist the urge to be first and playfully challenge them to a race. (You can always pretend to lose a sock or jumper towards the end if your child is really trying hard but needs a little longer.) For my daughter, she preferred to do this in her own room whilst I was in mine and I would tend to give a running commentary from where I was…. ‘putting my t shirt on now’ or ‘oh no, my trousers are inside out’. This helped her to stay on track and also encouraged her to talk about what she was doing. She was desperate to be first and so this little trick worked well for me. That competitive vibe isn’t for all children. That’s ok, move on to trying another tip.

Use a timer

Setting a timer (be quite generous at first) helps your child to understand that there is a limited time in which they need to get ready. An egg timer can work well or there are some great children’s timers out there which change colour to show when time is running out. Give your child choices where you can. This helps them to feel that they are in control. Would they like your help to get dressed or would they prefer to do it on their own? Would they like socks or tights?

Use a now / next approach

Sometimes we all need something to motivate us to do the thing we don’t want to do. Showing a child that if they get dressed when you ask they can then do something (short) that they enjoy, can give them the boost they need to get the job done.’ Now we are going to get dressed. Next we can (insert exciting motivator here!)’. For some kids an interesting breakfast will be enough to get them moving. Others might need something more creative. Maybe a two minute dance off to their favourite song or a quick story. Adding something extra into the morning routine might seem counterintuitive. It is far better to spend five minutes getting dressed and a few minutes dancing than to find yourself in a twenty minute battle.

 With any of the approaches you try, it might take a couple of tries before it works or they may work better some days that others. We are all variable and kids are too, so their responses can vary. Persist where you can. Praise the effort your child makes in trying to do the right thing, even small wins need to be celebrated to keep their motivation up.

If you find you have tried the suggestions above and nothing is working, then reach out and ask for help. We all struggle sometimes! Your child’s school may have a family support worker, or perhaps ask the class teacher if they have any suggestions. Ask other parents that you feel will understand you and how hard you are trying, the types that offer support but don’t make you feel judged.

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