Setting boundaries: The art of saying no

In the latest episode of Raising Confident Kids with SEN, I was delighted to be joined by Jo Long, a dedicated life coach and founder of Learning to Love Autism, and talk to her about a crucial topic for all parents: setting boundaries and the power of saying no. As parents, especially those caring for children with special educational needs (SEN), it's tempting to shoulder every responsibility and meet every demand, even at the expense of our well-being. In this episode, Jo and I emphasise the importance of prioritising our time with our children and how important it is to not feel guilty about turning down commitments that detract from that precious time.

Drawing from her experiences, Jo explains why saying no is not a sign of weakness but an essential way to preserve our energy and mental health. When we establish clear boundaries, we're modelling for our children the importance of self-respect and self-care, fostering a healthier environment where everyone thrives.

The reality of parenting: Accepting the new normal

Parenting a child with autism or other SEN often comes with a myriad of challenges and an adjustment period. Jo shares her perspective on coming to terms with her child's unique needs and the journey of embracing them. She recounts the feelings of isolation when her son was first diagnosed and the lack of understanding from her immediate family about sensory needs and autism. This journey, while isolating at times, paved the way for her to start Learning to Love Autism, a coaching service aimed at supporting fellow parents who are navigating similar paths.

Jo beautifully articulates how the perceived realities of parenting can be a contrast to the realities that are shaped by unique needs. However, there's beauty in this new reality - an opportunity to celebrate the distinct strengths and positive aspects of autism, such as hyper-focus and unique abilities, that enrich our lives.

The importance of self-care: A necessity, not a luxury

One recurring theme that Jo and I highlight is the non-negotiable need for self-care. Jo emphasises to us that caring for ourselves has a direct impact on our ability to care for our children. Clear communication with partners about needing breaks, scheduling self-care activities, and being transparent about our needs are practical steps we can take to ensure we don’t burn out.

Reflecting on my own self-care routines, this conversation made me question if I truly prioritise myself in all my roles and responsibilities. If this also resonates with you, I encourage you to reflect, reevaluate and intentionally plan self-care, rather than leaving it to chance. Jo explains how integrating self-care into our daily routines is transformative - enhancing our patience, creativity, and overall emotional health.

Finding support: From isolation to connection

Feeling isolated is a common experience for parents of children with SEN. Jo’s journey from isolation to finding support through local charities and online groups is inspiring. She talks to me about the value of one-on-one support for those not yet ready for group settings and reminds us all that we are not alone in our struggles.

Jo suggests that having a neutral coach provides a safe space to express yourself and work through challenges without judgment. This form of support is invaluable, empowering parents to find solutions and make informed decisions confidently.

Shifting beliefs: Celebrating neurodiversity

In this episode, we discuss shifting societal beliefs and challenging ableist mindsets around autism. Jo and I both advocate for a strengths-based approach, encouraging parents to lean into their children's unique abilities rather than focusing solely on challenges. I really encourage you to reconsider the language surrounding diagnoses - shifting from "risk" to "chance" changes the narrative from one of vulnerability to one of opportunity and hope.

Conclusion: Navigating parenthood with compassion and clarity

As the episode concludes, Jo and I reflect on the emotional journey of parenting children with SEN. Jo's personal experiences and dedication to helping others through Learning to Love Autism remind us all that while the path may be challenging, it is also profoundly rewarding. By setting boundaries, prioritising self-care, and seeking support, we not only enhance our well-being but also create a nurturing environment where our children can thrive.

Tune in to Raising Confident Kids with SEN for more heartfelt discussions and actionable insights, and don't forget to rate, review, and follow us to help other parents connect and grow together.